My Top 10 Devs
1. The Master of the UniverseThis is everyone’s favourite dev. From project managers and clients, through to other co-developers. They are sage-like, with an air of omniscience, revered as the fount of wisdom! If you have a question? Go to “The Master of the Universe”. They will know what to do. Me? Just ? ?
2. The Always Ready (Not!)They are identified by their warcry - “That is not possible” or the interchangeable mantra “that is impossible”. And you, in your project managing maniac mode, you go against the odds pleading randomly again and again among all the developers in the agency only to discover that surprise, surprise, It is possible, just a heap more work! Damn! Who’d have thunk it!!!???
3. The Hermione GrangerWell, everyone knows Hermione is the greatest wizard there ever was, their work has a semi mythical quality and it sparkles like pure magic! A dev with these powers has a great responsibility to be wielded against only the most formidable projects.
4. The SpeedsterThese ones always finish the task way before you expected and they leave you wondering why their estimate was so high. Invariably, you then find out why - their feature is not working for all devices or it broke another core feature, perhaps even it’s not working at all (Ed. That’s why we test)! Think that’s funny? Only if you catch it before telling your client that the work is done ?
5. The “I will die before having to explain this to a muggle”Yep, guilty! I’m a muggle. I never learned to code, never had to work side by side with a developer and programming was never part of my job, BUT I want to learn! So when I ask, please, explain it to me. It will not kill you, and you will benefit when I write you a better brief for the next project!
6. The Patient SaintThis dev will explain EVERYTHING to you. They know you are completely lost among an array of strings, crons and binaries… so every time you ask, they explain, simplify and even draw sketches if necessary. They are not only good at writing code, they are also capable of human to human relations…!!! ?
7. The “You know nothing, John Snow”This dev, will not directly say to you: “You know nothing!” but you can see the sentence running circles around their heads. They will not refuse to explain something to you but they will die a little inside when they have to, and sadly, they work with you... the muggle! So each day you are killing them, slowly and painfully with all your questions…
8. The Flying soloThis developer prefers to work alone. You will get short answers to most questions: yes and no are most likely. So long as you leave them alone, everything will work out fine - most of the time!
9. & 10. The Trial and errorYes, this one's so good, it gets two numbers! Why learn from other people’s mistakes when you can make your own? Most of the time they don’t really know if their script will work or totally crash the system but they will roll the dice anyway just for the chance to see you panicking. What’s the worst that can happen? It’s just like on a cloudy day, when you fancy being reckless and unpredictable… so you decide to leave the umbrella at home. But instead you’re taking a risk with someone’s website; not just your suede shoes. That’s why I’m here, I guess. To save you (and everyone else) from yourself!
This list is non-exclusive (and probably non-exhaustive) so you might end up working with developers belonging to one, two or even three of these types. But if you ever find a mixture of four… just run! Thankfully I’m still here, and I love my devs ?
*Disclaimer: The opinions and “research results” expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of fastfwd (we really love our developers here). Examples of analysis performed within this article are generalisations based on excessive rumination and caffeine intake.